Behind the Story

I’m often asked, “Is Kayla modeled after you? And was your mom an alcoholic like Kayla’s?”
......No, and no. But certain elements of Not Like You can be traced to my life:
......At 16, I had a boyfriend who was 21. Sometimes, we were the best of friends. And sometimes, he was way too old for me. And that’s all I can say about that.
......At 21, I moved to New Mexico. I first lived in remote Chaco Canyon, where on my days off I roamed by myself among the side canyons and mesas.
......At 30, I decided I didn’t like the person I became when I drank, and I put drinking behind me.
......None of that was on my mind consciously when I first imagined a highly agitated girl named Kayla who found her mother passed out from drinking. Kayla’s dilemma intrigued me. She had to take care of her mother, but she did so at great cost to herself. Could she become her own separate, responsible person? How would she get the love she needed? How would she resolve her agonizing mix of love and anger toward her mother?
......Once I started writing, I found myself pulling—more or less consciously—elements of my own life story to use in Kayla’s. There are bits of me in Kayla and in her mother. Kayla also reminds me of kids I worked with in my 20s, teenagers who couldn’t live at home anymore, who had to become responsible for themselves way too early because one or both parents hadn’t grown up fully themselves.
......Kayla has that blend of confidence, uncertainty, smarts, and naiveté that is common among teens who take on adult responsibilities. She tries so hard to do the right things, and sometimes she just doesn’t know enough or have the maturity to make the best choices. Who can’t identify with that?